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The Best You Can Be

The Best You Can Be

Apr 1, 2015

Every wizard in the Spiral is different. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, and we need to respect each other’s differences and work together.

But let’s face it, some wizards are just plain old better than others. And I mean, really, what’s the point in NOT being the best? We’re not here for FUN, we play this game to TOTALLY DOMINATE OTHER PLAYERS. With that in mind, here are some tips from the mercenaries on how you can make your wizard the best they can POSSIBLY be.

Step 1: Looking the Part

Everyone knows that the most important part of being awesome is how you look. A truly great wizard stands out from the crowd. Everywhere I look in the Spiral, I see wizards wearing the same old outfits over and over. A good wizard blends in. A GREAT wizard ups their fashion game so that it stands out.

Ugh. So boring, Only 2 million other wizards like this.

Ugh. So boring, Only 2 million other wizards like this.

Now, you might say, “But Mercs, isn’t there a REASON those looks are so popular and classic?” To which we say, do you want to be ‘classic’ or do you want to be EXTRAORDINARY? Everyone else does the same thing, but those people are sheep. Sheep people. Well, I guess they’re wizards, so those wizards are sheep. Sheep wizards. Sheepards, if you will. You need to stand out from the crowd, take chances other wizards don’t. Keep these fashion rules in mind and you’ll be amazed at the attention you receive.

  1. Don’t be afraid of colour. The more contrasting colours you use, the more you’ll stand out from the crowd. You want people’s eyes to be drawn to you.
  2. You are too original to use a “set” of gear. Lots of wizards use Yakedo or Youkai’s hat, robe, and boots. Using a pre-designed set is for people who can’t think for themselves. YOU are different. Mix and match! Use pieces from all different worlds. Be a leader, not a follower.
  3. Choose gear that takes up space visually.  You want flags sticking out of your body, the tallest hats you can find, boots with huge feet, whatever you can find that will make your wizard look larger. Being the largest wizard physically is a key step towards asserting your dominance.

After following these steps, your wizard is sure to draw everyone’s attention wherever they go. Check out what your  wizard could look like! (Except please do not actually choose this gear. This is my wizard. I’m an original. Get your own look.)

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See how the contrasting colours draw your attention and make it hard to look away? You need time to take this all in. That’s time that people are spending focusing COMPLETELY ON YOU.

 

 

Step 2: Get The BEST Gear.

One of the most important things that will distinguish your wizard from others is your stats, and most of those come from your gear. That means you need to make the BEST choices.

There are some people who will tell you that there is no “best” gear, and that everyone has their own playstyle and you should choose gear that suits your style best. Don’t listen to those people. They have no idea what they’re talking about. Everyone knows that the best gear is JADE gear. It’s amazing! When you use Jade gear, you are INVINCIBLE.

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This would be a fashion winner, too, if all the bad players weren’t PRETENDING to be as good as we are by using it.

 

I can hear you complaining already, though. “Doesn’t Jade gear come from hoard packs?” “I can’t afford to keep trying until I get all the Jade gear!” “How can I truly dominate and be THE BEST if I don’t have Crowns?” Well, never fear. You can get the undisputed best gear in the game without ever spending a dime.

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How?  I’ll tell you how. You just talk to people walking through the Commons and you just ask nicely for the packs! There are all sorts of kind people in this game who will help you out! And if they say no, they just don’t realize how nice they are yet. Keep asking them until they realize just how good of a person they really are. Everyone deserves a second chance, after all.

Step 3: How to Make Friends and Influence People

Now that you have the right look and the best gear, you can impress people and make friends.  Just run right up and ask them “Do you want to be my friend?”  Why would anyone say no to someone as epic as you? Don’t waste time on low levels, they’re not important and won’t be any help anyway.  Look for high levels with crown gear so they can help you quest AND buy you things.   If you ask just once and they don’t add you, this is their idea of a test. They’re trying weed out the people who give up too easily. Just keep asking!

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Remember, you’ll become the BEST of friends with the people you spend a lot of quality game time with. If you really like someone, make sure that as soon as you see them sign in, you whisper them and tell them that you need their help with whatever battle you’re fighting. Once they’ve ported over, make sure you tell them how important it is that they stick around and help you beat the next few bosses or farm a few more times. This means you’ll get to spend lots of time together, and you two will be best friends in no time!

Step 4: Become Famous

Once you’ve got your look, your gear, and your posse, it’s time to become famous.  If you’ve been playing more than three days and don’t have a YouTube, you’re missing out on the most important part of the game; public recognition.   Make some videos of yourself beating up lost souls and fire elves, so everyone can see your skills. These videos should be at least an hour long, so people can get a true sense of how amazing you are. Start up account on Twitter and Facebook and make sure that every person who plays the games friends you or follows you. If they say no, just keep telling them how awesome and important you are until they understand.  They may not get it at first, so make sure to have your friends start sending them messages, too, telling them about how they’ve GOT to be your friend. Once they see how loyal everyone is they’ll for sure be more interested.

foolspwn

In your videos,there’s no real need to talk about the game or strategy, your fans want more of YOU! Besides, they’re right there watching you PWN anyway. Add some interest to the videos by spending most of it talking about your personal life instead.

Once you are a legend, you can stand in the Commons or in the Bazaar and wait for people to recognize you.   If they don’t, don’t hesitate to tell them how important you are! If you’re chatting with your friends, make sure to do it out loud and not in whispers or groups. What’s the point of being where other people are if you’re not going to let them in on your conversation, right? Be sure to use the terms “n00b” and “scrub” when referring to lesser players, so that everyone knows right away how powerful you are.

Step 5: Dominating the Arena

Once you’ve proven your worth to your friends, everyone in the Commons and the bazaar, and every one on every forum and social media site, it’s time to really get down in to it and battle head to head in the Arena.

foolsDiego

Anyone who doesn’t accept your challenge to 1v1 has automatically forfeited the match, which pretty much means they lost and you won. It is totally normal, even encouraged, to include these wins in your totals when you’re telling people your win-loss ratio.

Some people might tell you that the most important part of dominating the arena is actually winning matches. While those people might occasionally have some good advice, in this case they are dead wrong. In order to dominate the arena, the most important battle is the battle of wits. You don’t need to actually defeat your opponent in a magical duel. What’s important is that you defeat their SPIRIT. Point out their shortcomings. Make sure to take notice of their uninspired fashion choices and their non-jade gear. Tell them how often you send comments and ideas and tickets to KingsIsle support, and how all the famous wizards are your friends on facebook. Ask them if they’re even going to bother posting this match to youtube. (And if they did, who would watch it anyway?) In the end, PvP isn’t about the match at all. It’s about proving how much more epic you are than anyone else.

Step 6: Getting the Girl/Guy

Everyone knows that all of your personal accomplishments aren’t really valuable unless you’re in a relationship. I mean, it’s almost for sure that by looking fantastic, being invincible, having friends, being famous, and dominating the arena, you’re totally going to make someone fall in love with you. But just in case that doesn’t work out, there are two things you can try.

foolsneedgirl

The busiest realms are the best places to find the right guy or girl for you. They’re pretty much your kingdom anyway.

  • Go to every social media platform you can find (blogs, forums, twitter, facebook, etc) and tell everyone how lonely you are. Make sure people know that it doesn’t make any sense, because you’re definitely a way better person than all of these other people you see who have boy/girl friends. Once people realize you’re available and see how awesome you are, someone is sure to jump on the opportunity to be that special someone.
  • Ask in the Commons. TONS of people pass through the Commons every day, and most of them have never even stopped to consider the possibility that they might be “the one” for someone as awesome as you. You just need to make them stop and pay attention so they can realize what they’ve been missing out on.

And there you have it! The true keys to success and happiness are all in this game, and are all right at your fingertips. Use our mercenary-approved tips and the whole Spiral will be talking about you in NO time!

  • Balance101

    This is the best thing I’ve read in my whole life…I pray that others take this advice to heart…

  • Rowan Drake

    Thanks so much for the tipsies! Gonna be the best newb I can be!

  • Kris Evans

    I hate people who just ask for packs. Lol

  • Caroline Willowsong

    So cool, a guide to being as obnoxious as possible! So well written, you too can be the one everyone changes realms to avoid!